


Keeping Words

by Clift01



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-06-15
Updated: 2002-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-20 14:45:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11337636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clift01/pseuds/Clift01
Summary: Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived atThe Basement, which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address onThe Basement's collection profile.





	Keeping Words

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Keeping Words

## Keeping Words

#### by Sophie

Author name: Sophie  
Email:   
Title: Keeping Words  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairing: M/K  
Category: Drama, slighty AU (Krycek is a few years older than Mulder) Spoilers/warnings: angst, WIP, violence and child abuse hinted at. R (though nothing happens here) Series: 1/?  
Summary: Krycek and Mulder are older acquaintances than you think Feedback: Please! 

Keeping Words 

Part 1  
MULDER-WATCHING. After a lifetime of observing I'm a connoisseur on the man and I still can't get enough. Even now, when I'm finally about to be with him again after 18 years, I can't resist studying him. 

He's been without the X-Files for only a short while but it's killing him, turning him into an empty shell of the man he used to be, while they've got him on some half-assed routine job transcribing surveillance evidence. He has every right to feel insulted. It's petty punishment but it's the best their limited intellects can come up with - they know there are a million better jobs he could be doing right now. But instead he sits there, bored by whatever he's listening to and sullenly popping salty sunflower seeds into his mouth. 

As resentful as he looks I'm looking forward to seeing him. It's been a long time since we last met and I know he won't recognise me. He never does. And no, it's not because of the passage of time. When we meet, I'll be a stranger to him. Again. 

Strange, even after all these years a small part of me worries those guileless eyes will cloud over with recognition. That this time he will know me for what I am. But he never does. The mind wipes, or whatever the hell it is they do to him, are always 100 per cent effective. Well, 99.9 per cent anyway. 

How's it go? Oh yeah, I remember now: 'hi, Fox Mulder, I'm Alex Krycek.' Like I _could_ forget those words. I've said them, or something similar, so often to him that they're ingrained in me. In those long years since we've been apart, I've kept on saying those words to myself. Savouring them. Imagining being with him once more and this time, permanently. 

I wonder how he'll greet me today. 

The first time we met, I had to practically peel him off as he hung on to me. It was...cute. Ok, he was about one and a half at the time, and I was 6, but I still remember like it was yesterday. You're not the only with an eidetic memory, Mulder. The difference being I'm allowed to remember. 

Each 'first' meeting after that he's withdrawn further and further into himself. Over the years his greeting got progressively colder, a little more reserved. His vain attempt to catch up with his environment and protect himself, I guess. 

I watch as he cracks another sunflower seed into his mouth, and feel a surge of affection for him; it's an oral habit he's maintained from childhood. Strange, isn't it, that a mundane act such as that compounds how much I've missed him. It's been a long time since we last met...too long. 

I can't get over how heartbreakingly beautiful he is. No change there, then. He's always gotten to me like no other, even at times like this when, slouching and bored, he isn't doing much of anything. His looks and spirit captivate those around him and he remains oblivious to it. Never realising how many people want him. 

Or maybe he does. That little blind spot could be _his_ oversight. Though he'd no doubt hate to hear it, not everything is the Consortium's fault. We haven't spoken for almost two decades but I know one thing - he can be amazingly selective when he wishes. 

Enough woolgathering. I take a deep breath, ready myself and walk in. 

__

Eighteen years ago 

"You're the new kid?" 

Alex Krycek nods; a little embarrassed that he's 18 pretending to be 14. He can't even remember being 14, can't believe he once was - at least not the type of 14 year old he sees around him. For all intents and purposes they're an alien race to him. They even smell different. He feels sweat gather on his upper lip. 

_Baby face._

He shudders. That's what Spender had called him, explaining why he was perfect for the job, congratulating yet taunting him for his youthful countenance. It was an insult Krycek had heard many times but no less painful by being uttered by his mentor. A part of him worries it will be a label that will haunt him to his dying day, but he swears that the next person to call him that gets slugged hard in the gut. 

The boy grins and Alex smiles back, bemused by the attempt to make friends. Kids, at least these kids, seem so...innocent. 

"Danny," the boy introduces himself, droning on, asking those questions that 14 year olds feel are important, what school was he at before, what do his parents do, what music did he like, blah, blah, blah. 

Alex answers the questions politely, all the while his eyes searching for his quarry. Not here, yet. Where the hell is the little scrote? It's with a little surprise that he realises he's looking forward to seeing Fox again. Over the years he's developed affection for the younger boy. 

When Fox walks in, Krycek can't resist looking at him, his smile broadening in appreciation. 

Danny groans when he notices him too, raising his eyebrows. "Keep away from him." Alex looks at him questioningly. "Spooky bastard tortured and killed his sister, and dumped her body god knows where, but they've never found her. Everyone, even his parents, knows he did it; they just can't prove it 'cos there's no body. My dad's a cop and he says they..." 

Alex's smile loses its warmth but Danny continued gossiping until Fox brushed past them, his shoulders hunched defensively. "Baby killer," Danny hisses and Fox flinches, trying not to show his hurt. He fails miserably. 

Alex stares coldly at Danny, saying nothing before turning away and moving to a desk near Fox. 

"Hey," he smiles, but Fox barely meets his eyes before flushing and letting his gaze drop. 

Krycek studies him, knowing Fox is aware of the scrutiny. His face reddens but he kept his eyes diverted. The surveillance pictures hadn't done Fox justice. In the flesh, he's even prettier. No, Alex decides, he's beautiful. Fox's large wounded eyes, framed by long lashes, his luminous perfect skin that shines with youth and tampered vitality, his pink lips that pout prettily even when he's not and a lanky sweet body all appeal to Alex. The palpable sadness he wears only accentuates his looks. 

Krycek's heart constricts painfully. This beautiful boy consumed with pain isn't the child he remembers. It almost hurts to see him now. "I'm Alex," he whispers. He can hear the unspoken plea in his own voice, and it worries him that he can be so needy: _Let me be your friend. Again_

"Hey. I'm Fox." The voice is carefully paced and almost bland, not inflected with any tone and he looks away immediately. 

"Nice name," Alex says truthfully, trying to hold back on a grin that threatens to overwhelm his face. He's always liked it but the boy looks at him sharply, his disbelief plain. "Really. It's cool." 

Fox holds his gaze a second longer as if trying to gauge his sincerity, before allowing his lips to crack into a brief smile. The smile looks strained around the edges; as if it's not something he often indulges in and is gone before it even registers. 

Alex smiles back, knowing the affect that will have on him. He may look youthful but he's handsome with it, maybe a little too pretty for his own taste but he has a killer smile: people bask in his grin. It makes them feel good. His grin broadens for real when Mulder visibly squirms before dropping his gaze again. 

He watches the class fill, most of the girls and boys greeting at least four or five friends, before finding their seats. No one sits with Mulder or acknowledges him. There is, at least there would be if Alex weren't there, a ring of desks unoccupied around Fox. Alex hates them. Especially when he sees the studied indifference on Fox's face as he tries not to let it bother him. 

Alex is concentrating on something witty to say when a girl, pretty and obviously popular walks deliberately in front of him. She flashes Fox a scathing look before adopting a sweet smile for Alex. "Hi. Danny tells me you're Alex, the new kid. I'm Cordelia. Well, welcome to our little school Alex. Hey," she adds, as if the thought just occurred to her, "would you like to sit with us?" She casually nods towards the back of the class, but Alex can hear that little trace of pride in her voice that tells him she is bestowing an honour on him. Cordelia does not talk to just anyone. 

Krycek looks over, sees Danny and some other kids at the top of the schools social hierarchy watching them closely. His gaze settles back on Cordelia. He doesn't like her; she may be only 14 years old but she's a bitch - she exudes a mile wide nasty streak. All in all, Cordelia is the kind of girl, if she were older, he'd hang with. Someone he'd have no qualms over using and then discarding. 

He is horribly aware of Fox holding his breath. Waiting for him to move away. 

Cordelia throws Fox a nasty smirk. Even if befriending him weren't Alex's job, he'd still hate her. She turns confidently back to him, already making room for him to walk with her. 

"No." 

Alex dismisses her, turning his attention back to Fox, who catches his eye, looking almost pathetically grateful. He flinches however, when Cordelia speaks. 

"I don't think you understand, I am trying to do you a favour. He's not normal. Are you Fox? Tell our new friend what you are." Her words, cruel and unnecessarily loud, have the desired affect: the entire class is listening now, perched forwards on their seats. Fox's face flushes with red-hot shame, his eyes again downcast. 

"Cordelia?" Alex says. 

She turns on that fake smile again, satisfied with herself. 

"Fuck off, you vindictive bitch." 

There are gasps of shock and hoots of surprised laughter. She reddens and backs off, shooting a hateful glance at Fox, already blaming him for the embarrassing encounter. 

"Wow," someone taunts, laughing. "A old friend of yours Cordy?" 

"Shut up Kelso," she snaps. 

Fox keeps watching him now; not looking away though his face is still flushed. Krycek smiles inwardly. He's in. 

* * *

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Sophie 


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